Have you ever had to plan an event or a party? What’s your least favorite part of the planning process? Mine….the guest list!!! I think it is one of the most grueling tasks to take on. Who’s coming? Who’s not? Why not?…it’s honestly all just too much; it is, however, a necessary evil.

I try to treat each year as an event and so at the end of the year, I make a list. This is not of resolutions (mostly because I don’t like to feel like I’m setting myself up for failure) but more like a guest list. I write down all of the things that I can think of that contributed to my evolution of self (the great and the terrible) and from that list, I determine what stays (who’s on the list) and what should honestly just go (who’s not invited).

A few years ago I saw this and saved it, and it has consistently been my list because there are things that I have still not been able to manage to cut loose. In 2020, these things are not invited.

1. Being a “people pleaser” will eventually turn in to you losing sight of who you are and the things you want or need for yourself. Live YOUR life, the best way you can to please God and yourself. While you’re walking around trying to make other people happy, who’s choosing or trying to make you happy?

2. Self-doubt is not okay. Common? Yes. Good practice? Not so much. You can do all things through Christ, who gives you strength! Believe that. Live in THAT! When you are feeling like it’s an impossible feat, remember that you are not in control. If you fail, you missed the lesson…try again.

3. Negative thinking often feels like being a “realist”, but seeing things for what they are and expecting the bad all of the time are not the same. If you believe that nothing good will happen or you prepare yourself for the worse instead of EXPECTING the best, you will find yourself becoming miserable and depressed…CUT THIS OUT ( I do this one SOOO much, and I really get on my own nerves doing it and I need to stop 🤦🏽‍♀️)

4. There is no success without failure! Don’t be afraid to fail…be afraid to not try, be even more afraid to quit. It took me 15 years to get a four year degree, yes, FIFTEEN…and there was a point where I had a real conversation with myself trying to figure out why it was taking me so long when I was already more than halfway there…I was afraid. Yes, afraid to finish school. I had a real fear of what came next, fear of failing on a journey that I hadn’t even begun, and as a result of that failure, I was persistently underperforming on purpose because I had this dread of being unsuccessful. Let me tell you, fear of failure will hold you hostage!!! The only limits we have are the ones we place on ourselves.

5. In this world, we are our own worse critics. How many times have you said “I’m too fat”, “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not approachable” etc. It is very normal and also very healthy to recognize things in ourselves that need improving but it is NOT healthy to harp on them. If you find that there is something that needs improving, just fix it, and it helps to set REASONABLE time goals, but YOU have to fix it.

6. No is a complete sentence. No is also an acceptable answer! Sometimes you’re uncomfortable with what you’re being asked to do…SAY NO! Sometimes you don’t feel like going. Maybe, being around people is just not what you can handle at a particular moment. Sure, you were invited and you sent an RSVP of yes, but now it’s the day of and you just can’t bring yourself to do it…don’t feel bad, refer to #1 here, and remember that it is not our obligation to be a “people pleaser”. It’s ironic that the word we uttered so freely as toddlers is one we struggle with in adulthood.

7. Do it NOW! Just do it! The longer you put it off, the more likely it is that it won’t get done. If it’s something that must be done, the longer you wait to do it, the more stress that comes with it…this is a big one for me, I am the queen of procrastination, and I know I have to do better.

Giving up these things will take time, but once you’ve given them up, whether it happens to be all at once or one at a time, I bet you will notice how much happier you’re becoming!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

✌ and much 💕💕
#ChooseHappiness
#BePositive